This week I would say has been an internal emotional roller coaster. I'm finally home for the summer and I've gotten all settled in and ready for whatever lies ahead. What lies ahead? Basically nothing. I have been sitting on my bum for about a week now, mainly going through my eight seasons of Smallville in order. Amazing right? My friends here have all had finals and such so I understand why I haven't seen much of them. My parents both work and I understand they are busy, so I haven't done much with them. My sister graduated college today, and this past week she has been on hyper speed mode so I understand why I haven't seen much of her. My college friends are all in their respective home towns, so obviously I can't really see them either. But thankfully Courtney decided that she missed me enough to stop by my house the other day. Totally random, but made my day more than she probably knows. It makes me happy to know that I'm missed as well. First emotion I have been feeling: a tad lonely. And the worst part about it is that I know one person that I could call up right now and ask if they wanted to hang out and I guarantee that they would say yes. I know they are lonely too...but that just isn't an option anymore.
Second emotion: excited. It was really exciting seeing my sister graduate today. I know she has been working her tooshie off and she deserved the recognition. I'm also excited because I leave for Disney pretty soon. And what other emotion but excitement and happiness go with Disney?? Exactly.
Third emotion: fear. My mother gave me some sad news today and it kinda shook me up a bit. I know that people die. It's a natural thing and sometimes it's necessary. I would much rather somebody be up in heaven partying it up with Jesus rather than down here on earth and in pain. Though I am selfish and want people to stay here with me, I still don't like seeing loved ones in pain. But hearing people give percentages on the odds of a person living past a certain time, it makes me angry. I don't want to think about those things. I thank god everyday that I don't know the future, because if I did I would be a neurotic mess. And so when doctors make predictions such as those, it's adds to the stress. Trying to play God and put guess on a lifespan. It does nothing but leave the person and those that they love in fear.
Wow that may have been a bit of a downer blog, but I guess it's just one of those things that I needed to get out. Good night.
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