Bring it.

Spiritual warfare is a nasty business. The minute I feel on a life high with God holding me up in rays of sunshine, a huge cloud of poop rains down on my face and kills the moment. That's been my week. I have been dealing a lot with future stuff, deciding whether or not I trust God to carry me through the next eight months and even the next three years. But the other day I was happy and confident that the lord carries me and is going to continue to do so. Isaiah 46:3-4. That's when the poop started. I have been doing a lot of stuff for RUF relating to ASNMSU which is our student government. I helped write a bill with another RUF guy Ethan (who sadly has graduated) and needless to say they cancelled the bill without informing us hence why I have been working on it all so far this semester. I had finally thought things were looking up, after spending hours talking to senators, getting paperwork together, and all that other stuff, I was prepared. We went in and the Rules Board just hounded on us for about 30 mins. That was really rough but by God's grace it went through to the third reading. After high five-ing and butt smacking like a high school football team, I went to bible study and jammed out to Don't Stop Believing on the way there. It wasn't until I got home that I was informed that senators were spreading rumors. Not about RUF--but about me. Basically someone was saying that I sent them a series of text messages that would have hurt RUF's chances of getting out bill through. First thought: why would I send messages that were going to hurt RUF's chances?? I have been working my butt off for weeks on this thing and trying to get it passed. Second thought: who even knows me in ASNMSU? I don't socialize with people in that world, I know a few of them and have dealt with one senator on a weekly basis but that's it. After a lot of confusion, I fell into anger, and then just flat out emotional breakdown. I talked to our campus minister and basically he was like I'm gonna go to bat for you but only if you can promise me that you didn't do what they are claiming you did. Of course I didn't! The fact that he had to question that kinda pissed me off but I guess it's just him being cautious. It's nice to know that I have people backing me up but at the same time I haven't had to deal with these kinds of attacks since middle school. The rest of the day was cry sessions, vent sessions, plotting the best move to get the bill passed through without drama effecting it...and after all that I still had 3 classes. My last class of the day I was contemplating not going but I had to turn in homework, so I walked in and my professor straight up looked at me and said, "Wow. You look like shit. Go home." I kinda just stared at her and was like "seriously?" and she said, "Yeah, you look terrible today, you don't need to be here, just email me your homework and go home-- get some rest." That was the nicest and meanest thing any professor has ever said to me. I packed up my stuff and walked out and headed home only to take a two hour much needed nap. So that's where I'm at now, trying to figure out whether I should just stay out of ASNMSU's way or to go in with my head held high and still keep fighting for RUF. I did nothing wrong and I have nothing to be ashamed of. So all I have to say is bring it. I have a God who's for me, and ready to fight my battles.